Resolving Conflict with a Peer Mediation Program A Manual for Grades 4-8 By Maureen F. Block and Barbara Blazej 2005 A collaborative project of the Peace Studies Program, University of Maine, and Maine Law & Civics Education, University of Southern Maine, with support from the Division of Family Health, Maine CDC, Department of Health and Human Services Resolving Conflict with a Peer Mediation Program A Manual for Grades 4-8 This peer mediation handbook for grades 4-8 will provide you with materials and resources we hope will be helpful in designing, building, implementing and sustaining a peer mediation program. Peer mediation offers important strategies for critical thinking and productive problem solving, and fosters an empowered sense of self in students as well as rich opportunities for contributing to the overall school climate. Included in this manual are what we consider to be seven essential skills that students need to learn as they train to become mediators, as well as some resources to support your efforts.
We hope you find this handbook useful and would appreciate your feedback. Please send comments and suggestions to: peace. (Please note: The pages in this online version of this manual have a wider left margin than right so they can be printed and used in a binder.) 1 Contents Page • Introduction ………………………………………………………… 3 • Goals and Objectives of Mediation ………………………………… 5 • Essential Components of a Peer Mediation Program ……………… 6 • The Role of the Coordinator ………………………………………. 7 • The Role of the Mediator …………………………………………….
8 • The Mediation Process ………………………………………………. 10 • Helpful Mediator Questions …………………………………………. 11 • Mediator Training Seven essential skills and practices ……………………………. 12 Sample scenarios, role-plays, and scripts ……………………….
29 Sample two-day training agenda ………………………………… 35 Highlighted activities for two-day training ………………………. 41 Recruiting and the application process Promotion and publicity for your program Sustaining your efforts Evaluation of the program • Sample Forms ………………………………………………………. 45 Applications, referrals, reports, etc. 53 Conflict Resolution Education Dialogue Circles Curriculum integration opportunities • Peer Mediation & Conflict Resolution Organizations & Resources ………………………………………………………….
62 2 Introduction Conflicts are a normal and inevitable part of our lives. Students are bound to have conflicts with peers over the course of their school careers. But it isn't inevitable that these conflicts have to be unproductive, ruin relationships, take time away from academics, or lead to violence. A peer mediation program is an effective way for schools to decrease violence and empower students to better deal with the difficult situations they experience at school, and later as members of society.
Peer mediation is a voluntary process in which a student trained as a neutral third party helps other students in conflict get clear about their concerns, better understand one another, and come to a mutual agreement about how they want to handle their issues. Using conflict resolution skills and the peer mediation process, students can begin to see conflict as an opportunity for growth and learning, rather than something that fuels anger, frustration or even violence. During mediation, a student (or pair of students) listens to other students present their side of a disagreement and then helps them find common ground. Many school disputes have to do with rumors or misunderstandings between friends.
Listening well to understand each other better provides a framework for empowering students to reconnect as human beings and teaches appreciation for different perspectives. Peer mediation helps students develop the conflict resolution skills of understanding conflict, confidentiality, effective communication, and intentional listening. The process invites practice in applying those skills in real life situations and helps them learn to settle potentially explosive situations in a positive and constructive manner. Mediation can help alleviate the sense of disenfranchisement and powerlessness that some students feel and can help turn a difficult situation into a time of mutual growth and understanding for disputants.
It is important to note that mediation is not an appropriate choice for all disputes. Any dispute that involves violence of any kind, weapons, drugs, or physical or sexual harassment or abuse is a case for administrative intervention. However, mediation can sometimes be useful in these types of conflicts after administrative intervention to help students understand the underlying issues and explore different ways of relating. Research tells us that a sense of belonging is a very important factor in preventing violence in our schools.
Traditionally, punitive systems, suspensions, and expulsion offer schools few choices other than to push students further away from their learning 3 communities. A school peer mediation program promotes critical thinking and builds decision-making skills, develops healthy standards of relationship within the school community and supports student self-determination--all valuable tools in an increasingly violent and disconnected world. Having a solid peer mediation program in place helps schools become safe and respectful learning environments. The mediation process allows students to become actively involved in transforming school climate by becoming agents of change.
Peer mediators become models of peacemaking wherever they go, helping to make their homes, their schools and their world a better place to live. 4 Goals and Objectives of Mediation The goal of peer mediation is to help a school become a more healthy, positive, and safe learning environment by empowering students to manage conflict, transform relationships and enhance school climate. Program objectives can include: reducing the rates of office referrals, suspensions and expulsions; creating a stronger sense of community by bridging differences; and instilling valuable, lifelong skills that prepare students to become productive citizens. Specifically, peer mediation: • Empowers students with the skills and strategies for dealing with conflict; • Develops communication and decision-making tools that influence choices in the future and increase leadership potential; • Helps students gain perspective and understanding of themselves, others and their issues; • Improves school climate by building relationships; • Reduces the alienation, disenfranchisement and powerlessness that many students feel; • Builds a strong sense of cooperation within the school community in order to address disputes that interfere with learning.
5 Essential Components of a Peer Mediation Program A Readiness Checklist This checklist can be used to help ensure that your peer mediation program will get off to a good start by identifying where your school stands with regard to need, readiness and support within the system. It will clarify areas of strong support as well as those where you may need further development. q Our school community experiences conflicts that interfere with learning. q Our school philosophy supports programs that include students in efforts to create a healthier school climate.
q We have the support of the principal to initiate a peer mediation program. q We have the support of the disciplinarian (if other than the principal). q The staff generally agrees that this type of undertaking is important and useful for the school and is willing to cooperate with these efforts. q The school board is aware of and supportive of these efforts.
q The broader school community is aware of the value we see in introducing this program. q We have a core group that includes faculty, administration, parents and students that will design and implement a peer mediation program. q A person(s) is willing to coordinate the program. q Funding is available, if needed (for stipends, conferences, trainings, or materials).
6 The Role of the Coordinator The coordinator plays a central role in the success of any peer mediation program, by ensuring the smooth operation of the program. This person would need to have a strong interest in mediation as a way of resolving conflict and the time and commitment to build and maintain a successful program. Often times, a co-coordinator model helps to spread the responsibilities between two people. Specific responsibilities of the coordinator include the following: • Recruit students to be mediators; • Select the student mediators; • Organize and participate in student training sessions (arrange for outside trainers or do the training with help from others); • Set up a roster of mediators so that the program works efficiently; • Establish a referral process and monitor the selection of appropriate cases for mediation; • Set up regular meetings of the student mediators to bring the group together, support their efforts, review their progress and do training updates; • Observe student mediators in their first few mediation sessions to ensure they are capable of carrying on the process on their own; • Help students mediate when they are having difficulty (this should be done only when absolutely necessary); • Debrief mediators after each case; • Manage the record keeping of mediation cases; • Work with student mediators to address any program challenges; • Maintain communication with school administration about program progress; • Act as spokesperson for the program within the school and wider community.
7 The Role of the Mediator Students usually have to apply and/or are recommended to become mediators, and must participate in several hours of training, during which they learn and practice communication skills and specific steps of the mediation process. Student mediators may facilitate mediations alone or with another student as a co-mediator. Mediators are often seen as role models and leaders within their school, and as such, there is an expectation that they act with integrity and honesty towards others. A mediator acts as a neutral third party to guide conversations between peers in conflict.
Specifically, a peer mediator: 1. Listens well to understand better. Avoids trying to fix, tell, suggest or give advice. Clarifies in order to deepen understanding by: • Restating • Asking open-ended questions • Reframing • Being silent • Looking and listening for cues to return the power to the parties.
Invites each disputant to respond to what the other has said. Repeats these steps as often as necessary. The Peer Mediator as an Active Listener Active listening is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding. Often when people talk to each other, they don’t listen with their full attention.
They are often distracted, half listening, half thinking about something else. When people are engaged in a conflict, they are often busy figuring out a response to what is being said. They assume that they have heard what their opponent is saying many times before, so rather than paying attention, they focus on how they can respond to win the argument. 8 Active listening is a structured form of listening and responding that peer mediators use to focus the attention on the speaker.
The mediator takes great care to give the speaker their full attention, remain neutral, and then repeat--in their own words--what they think the speaker has said. This enables the speaker to determine if the mediator has really understood what they were saying. If the mediator does not completely understand, the speaker can explain further. Peer mediators are also encouraged to restate or reframe the speaker’s words in terms of feelings.
Instead of just repeating what happened, the mediator as active listener might say, “It sounds like you felt angry (etc.” In doing this, the mediator allows the disputant to also confirm that the mediator has heard and understood the disputant’s emotional response to what happened. 9 The Mediation Process Introduction • Mediators introduce themselves to the disputants, ask for the disputants’ names, and explain the process, including confidentiality. Sharing Perspectives • Each disputant tells his/her story of what happened. • Disputants share their interpretation of what happened and how the conflict made them feel.
Getting More Information • Mediators ask open-ended questions to clarify and verify. • Mediators ask, “Is there anything else that we need to know?” Defining the Problem • Mediators paraphrase and restate each disputant’s account. • Mediators guide disputants to come to an agreement about what the problem really is. Brainstorming Solutions • Disputants brainstorm possible solutions.
• Mediators ask disputants to talk about which solutions the disputants are willing to agree on and which ones are not agreeable. • Mediators ask disputants to talk about how each possible solution will affect the disputants’ relationship with each other.